Sacrifice and Personal Healing

May 2, 2012

The message I received that evening was a visualization (similar to the Indra reference), where I was aware that I was dreaming, but also fast asleep. This time, I saw a repeated pattern of a caterpillar becoming a cocoon, and then becoming a butterfly. I forced myself to wake up and write down this imagery, searching for meaning. 

"Spiritual transformation is about sacrificing a part of yourself, which can be bodily related."

I related this message to Nan. She said that the stages of the butterfly are a classic resurrection symbol. All these stages or levels are constantly happening at the same time.  All we have to do is heal ourselves, and then the energy that we put out to the world is healing. 

Once you have healed yourself, you will reach that enlightened experience.  The experience is highlighted by an energetic connection to make choices that positively affect everything. 

At the time, I could hardly comprehend even the idea of how my energy was supposed to positively affect others.  I felt stirrings of my own self-realization, but was skeptical to accept them into my waking life. 

Between May 5, 2012 and May 6, 2012, I received two dreams that are reoccurring settings that directly relate to self healing.

The first is inside a mansion, that I have visited many times before.  Each time though, I am in a different part of the mansion.  The mansion has offsets of many rooms. Some of them go outside, others go to torture like chambers.  I've even been to the basement a few times. This mansion is owned by a pretty but evil woman. She is always hosting a party, and has many guests from all walks of life.

This time, I went outside on the first floor, and met a group of people with the intent of destroying the evil woman and restoring power to each individual.  This group of people had the power of light emitting from their hands, but each person was at a different frequency. Their goal was to all be able to emit their light at the same time. One of them was a young man who was unsure of himself.  He apparently could manifest the purest light of them all, but was still in training.  His sister, although she was younger, had already mastered the red light she was able to emit from her hands. After observing the people practice for awhile, I asked the sister if she would come back into the mansion with me, to observe what was going on.  She agreed and I showed her all the rooms that were not barred off. 

The other dream I encountered was that of the square structured used book shop with staircases in each corner. This book shop has the air of being extremely classy, borderline snobbish, and there are books everywhere about people, places, and things that never seem to have any meaning or interest for me. One of the staircases is physically dangerous.  It is dark, the stairs are unevenly formed, and it seems like everyone is always coming up them, but you really have to assert yourself for a way down them. 

The one area of the book shop that held my interest was a small section with art supplies.  I debated purchasing some HUGE markers that were RED, BLUE, YELLOW, and ORANGE, but decided not to.  I also had run into my brother and sister-in-law [Linn] several times, but it always felt awkward.  Like they were looking for something, and looking through me, as if I was hardly there. 

A couple of times that I met up with Linn, she insisted that we go down the dark staircase. I balked at first, but she was determined. The first time, I was trying to feel for each step, and people kept running into me.  I struggled to get down the stairs at all!  The second time I found myself going down the stairs, I was determined to begin a path for those who wanted to descend.  I even had a flashlight, and walked with conviction.  The way wasn't easy, but it was certainly more manageable. 

Perhaps in a sense, in my waking life, I have been encountering the darkness.  The darkness that I speak of is unbridled fear, that many of those around me have also been subjected to. The people in the first dream, who had already found their light, represented the fact that we become more powerful when we face the fear as a group infused with positive energy, unstoppable with pure intent. The second dream reminded me that the path is not easy, and that you must face your own fears before you can truly pave the way for others in the same direction.