Sacrifice and Personal Healing

May 2, 2012

The message I received that evening was a visualization (similar to the Indra reference), where I was aware that I was dreaming, but also fast asleep. This time, I saw a repeated pattern of a caterpillar becoming a cocoon, and then becoming a butterfly. I forced myself to wake up and write down this imagery, searching for meaning. 

"Spiritual transformation is about sacrificing a part of yourself, which can be bodily related."

I related this message to Nan. She said that the stages of the butterfly are a classic resurrection symbol. All these stages or levels are constantly happening at the same time.  All we have to do is heal ourselves, and then the energy that we put out to the world is healing. 

Once you have healed yourself, you will reach that enlightened experience.  The experience is highlighted by an energetic connection to make choices that positively affect everything. 

At the time, I could hardly comprehend even the idea of how my energy was supposed to positively affect others.  I felt stirrings of my own self-realization, but was skeptical to accept them into my waking life. 

Between May 5, 2012 and May 6, 2012, I received two dreams that are reoccurring settings that directly relate to self healing.

The first is inside a mansion, that I have visited many times before.  Each time though, I am in a different part of the mansion.  The mansion has offsets of many rooms. Some of them go outside, others go to torture like chambers.  I've even been to the basement a few times. This mansion is owned by a pretty but evil woman. She is always hosting a party, and has many guests from all walks of life.

This time, I went outside on the first floor, and met a group of people with the intent of destroying the evil woman and restoring power to each individual.  This group of people had the power of light emitting from their hands, but each person was at a different frequency. Their goal was to all be able to emit their light at the same time. One of them was a young man who was unsure of himself.  He apparently could manifest the purest light of them all, but was still in training.  His sister, although she was younger, had already mastered the red light she was able to emit from her hands. After observing the people practice for awhile, I asked the sister if she would come back into the mansion with me, to observe what was going on.  She agreed and I showed her all the rooms that were not barred off. 

The other dream I encountered was that of the square structured used book shop with staircases in each corner. This book shop has the air of being extremely classy, borderline snobbish, and there are books everywhere about people, places, and things that never seem to have any meaning or interest for me. One of the staircases is physically dangerous.  It is dark, the stairs are unevenly formed, and it seems like everyone is always coming up them, but you really have to assert yourself for a way down them. 

The one area of the book shop that held my interest was a small section with art supplies.  I debated purchasing some HUGE markers that were RED, BLUE, YELLOW, and ORANGE, but decided not to.  I also had run into my brother and sister-in-law [Linn] several times, but it always felt awkward.  Like they were looking for something, and looking through me, as if I was hardly there. 

A couple of times that I met up with Linn, she insisted that we go down the dark staircase. I balked at first, but she was determined. The first time, I was trying to feel for each step, and people kept running into me.  I struggled to get down the stairs at all!  The second time I found myself going down the stairs, I was determined to begin a path for those who wanted to descend.  I even had a flashlight, and walked with conviction.  The way wasn't easy, but it was certainly more manageable. 

Perhaps in a sense, in my waking life, I have been encountering the darkness.  The darkness that I speak of is unbridled fear, that many of those around me have also been subjected to. The people in the first dream, who had already found their light, represented the fact that we become more powerful when we face the fear as a group infused with positive energy, unstoppable with pure intent. The second dream reminded me that the path is not easy, and that you must face your own fears before you can truly pave the way for others in the same direction.

Seeking Spiritual Connection With the Divine Spirit Through Dreams

So, these entries are going to be a little back dated, as I wrote them in my Oral Traditions journal starting in April 2012.  At that point in my life, I was coming to terms with the idea that my dreams were a vehicle for connection with the Divine spirit.  Even as early as when I began my Masters program in October 2011, I was having very vivid and somewhat unsettling dreams, and through an utter cathartic breakdown, sought out the spiritual assistance and guidance of my fellow classmate "Notorious" Nan. 

Nan would listen to my dreams and encourage me to de-personalize them to see the bigger picture. As Nan would say, "We are all connected, our energies bounce off one another. The more you develop the vibration of your own energy, the more positive feedback you will get from others."

On April 15, 2012, I had a dream which I will attempt to simplify in a series of bullet points. 

• A young man comes over a house saying that he is a hero. "Crass" older man sits him down in the kitchen and says, "No, you're not ready. Go work in a bar for a few years, you'll get the experience you need."
• In the living room, there is a piano, but it is closed. Instead of the exterior being made of wood, it is made of mirrors. There are lots of schedule books laid upon its surface, giving it the air that it hasn't been cleaned for a long time.  In front of the piano is my first dog, in the prime of his life. Next to the piano is a bed.  My grandpa is sitting near the bed. I talk to him and he says he is cold.  I help him get into bed, and proceed to lie next to him, holding his hands, trying to transfer my warmth. 
• Eventually a group of young people arrive (a guy and a couple of girls) to tell me I have to come and hang with them.  I kiss my grandpa goodbye and ask him if he feels warmer and he says yes (even though he probably didn't).
• I am in a car with the other young people, and we are driving down I-84 West. We get off an exit near Woodbury/Southbury and drive through backroads. Somehow it is night while we are driving, but it is broad daylight after we park. There are a series of outdoor bars, and there are people sitting in them, just covered by a meager tent.
• The people aren't talking, not even drinking really. Our presence causes them to stop moving altogether, except for their eyes, and their grimaces with their mouths. We pass by several of these bars, until the young man in the group decides to enter one of them, and the rest of us follow.
• He goes right up to the bartender and asks, "Where can we get a seat?" The bartender doesn't say anything, but instead points to a few seats, which are open but not next to each other.  We each slowly find a seat. I find myself seated near two other young women, who actually do have drinks, but obviously wandered in just moments before my group.
• It all happened so fast. The young man got up to demand a drink, and everyone else started getting up. I sensed a grave danger. I made quick eye contact with the two girls near me and followed them out the door to their green car. (It was one of those long "boat" cars from the 70's with a huge trunk that the back seats could fold down into). 
• One of the girls jumped in the car on the passenger side, but the driver hesitated.  She'd become partially responsible for me for allowing safe passage in her car, but knew me to be a perfect stranger. Should she let me in?  The passenger screams, "Just get in car! We don't have much time!" (The driver decides to let me stay in the trunk, so that no one would notice I was with them). 
• I'm in the trunk, trying to lay low, and listen to the girls conversation up front.  I can't really hear much of anything, until the passenger says, "Eww, she smells so bad. She smells like death. Where can we stop to get her clean?"  The driver says that we can't stop yet.  "Lend her some clothes, and we will get rid of the ones she has.  That might help."
• I remember putting on a yellow shirt and khakis, but awkwardly so, because I was still lying on my back in the trunk. Eventually the driver got to talking, and asked me if I knew some people. One name, I sort of recognized by sound, but could not visually remember what the person looked like.  The driver responded, "Well, if you know Jeffrey, then you're alright."

First off, this dream was absolutely downright wild for me. It encompassed characters or even archetypes from my past, present, and future. My dog who had died in 1998 who appeared in the prime of his life.  My grandfather who was actually beginning the dying process at the time.  The unknown but known Jeffrey,whom now I believe to be the leader of the experimental band I joined this past July. 

The people at the various bars symbolize the archetype of The Drunkard.  Their quest for  spiritual connection has been warped to a connection with the "spirits in the bottle". My own personal search for the connection with the Divine spirit, led me to this place, where my mission is to help other people seek the healthy connection to the spirit. 

After sharing this dream with Nan, she encouraged me to read Genesis verses 37, 39+ in which Joseph receives dreams and interpretations directly from God in order to prepare his people for an upcoming and devastating drought. I read this faithfully before bed that very night.  

In the middle of the night, I was fully aware that I was sleeping, but also dreaming. I saw two Indian woman speaking to one another.  The only two words I could remember were Indra and East. I had no idea what they were talking about, but I forced myself to wake up to write down these words. 

The next day, I typed "Indra" into Wikipedia. Indra is essentially the lord of Heaven in Hindu mythology. He is the God of war, the god of thunderstorms, his weapon is the bolt, and he is one of the chief deities in the Rig Veda. As the God of War, he is also regarded as one of the Guardians of the directions, representing the East. Never in my life (until now) would I have anticipated that my first major attempt to connect to the Divine Spirit would be through a Hindu deity!  

The next night I received another message through a series of quick visualizations. I forced myself again to wake up and write what I saw down.  This was particularly difficult, but I closed my eyes and focused on the feeling that I felt in the dream state, steadily asking for guidance. 

"Anyone can harness this spiritual energy, however it must be with pure intention and open to ANY SOURCE.  Travel the world without setting a foot outside your door.  Connect with others through mutual intentions."

The Vivid Dreamer

I've always considered myself a vivid dreamer.  I'm one of those people who can remember several phases or parts of any given dream, in great detail.  Over the course of the last three or four months, I've had a revelation about my role as a dreamer.  

I do not dream strictly for my inner strength and guidance, but I also dream to assist the greater populace in a higher level of consciousness.   In this blog, I hope to share the messages that I have received thus far, along with actual dreams and or visualizations of my own, attempts at interpretation, and moments where others have reached out to me to open the door to the dream portal that they may have previously been unable to access.